Endless Waltz Fields Of Hope
by Karen
Summary: A oneshot crossover between Gundam Wing Endless Waltz and Gundam Seed Destiny. On a snowy Christmas Eve, the anniversary of the death of Trieze Kushrenada, A young mother reconciles with her past, and contemplates her own daughters future.


**September 4, 2005 - December 13, 2005**

**Endless Waltz, Fields Of Hope**

**A crossover fan fiction inspired by _"Gundam Wing; Endless Waltz" _and _"Gundam Seed; Destiny"_**

**By Karen**

**My seven year old daughter, Lacus, smiled happily from the warmth of our soft, velvet living room couch as she gazed out and watched the snow fall gently onto the Clyne mansions grounds.**

**"It's sure snowing allot tonight, Mommy!."**

**I chuckled warmly from the wheelchair I had been confined to since girlhood. It was Christmas Eve and the two of us had just come home from midnight Christmas mass at Reverend Malchios church. We were now gathered in the living room in front of a warm, cozy fire for a special treat of tea, mandarin oranges and Christmas cookies.**

**Our lavish living room was bedecked with numerous colorful decorations and trappings, mistletoe, holly, and a giant Christmas tree, which my husband, Lacus and I had had the time of our lives decorating. Sweet scented Christmas candles were lit all around the room, and in the background Christmas carols were playing on our CD player.**

**"Yes, maybe tomorrow morning after we open presents and have breakfast we can go outside and feed some leftover bread to the birds," I said.**

**She nodded eagerly.**

**"Yes, it's so cold and they must be very hungry. But still, isn't the snow so beautiful, Mommy?."**

**Some wood crackled inside our large, carved marble fireplace and I brushed my bright reddish bangs away from my blue eyes.**

**"It certainly is, darling," I agreed, smiling lovingly at my daughter. I had to admit, at first I had been hesitant and anxious about living in the PLANTs, being one of very few Naturals to chose to relocate to a world made specifically for Coordinators, but they turned out to be not much different from the Earth colonies, if not more lovely. The beautiful, peaceful life I now shared with my husband and my daughter here had made it all the more wonderful.**

**Having long ago sworn off the path of war and conquest of my grandfather and father, I was now a respected nurse at one of the main local hospitals, preferring to aid in _saving_ lives rather then taking them. I liked to think that was why my mother, the mother I could barely remember, had become a nurse herself.**

**"Maybe we can all go outside and make snow angels too," Lacus suddenly announced. "Then they could fly away with the birds forever!."**

**Excited at the thought, she hopped off the couch, twirled around in her beautiful dress and raised her small, fair arms to the ceiling as if they were wings. Her rose colored hair flew out freely behind her.**

**I laughed with pleasure. When I was Lacus's age there had been hardly any time for celebrating Christmas, feeding birds, making snow angels or even playing. How I envied my daughter. And how _proud_ and _happy_ I was to envy her!.**

**"So, they will fly far far away and leave us all behind," I teased.**

**Playing along coyly, she brought a hand to her cheek.**

**"Oh my!. I'm sure the angels wouldn't fly away forever, Mommy. They'd come back again with the birds next year to visit us."**

**I surpressed a grin and pretended to wipe my forehead in relief.**

**"Ahh, that's so good to hear. What a relief," I joked.**

**We both laughed together, and Lacus trotted over to me and climbed into my lap. Here was one angel that I hoped would never fly away and leave me!.**

**Smiling contently, she rested her head against my shoulder and the two of us watched as the snow continued to fall from the grayish white Christmas Eve sky…**

**I breathed in the warm air, the scent of wood from the fire, and of the Christmas potpourri placed in crystal dishes around the living room, feeling rather wistful as I gazed outside at the falling snow… So much had changed over time since I had been taken in by my foster mother… Human beings had further divided themselves into Naturals and Coordinators, and now, as well as the numerous space colonies, there were PLANTS. Kingdoms and organizations like Sanc, OZ and the Romefeller Foundation were long since gone and forgotten, replaced by Orb, ZAFT and the Blue Cosmos…**

**"Mommy," little Lacus asked suddenly, "Will you tell me a Christmas story before bedtime?."**

**I kissed the top of her head.**

**"Of course, what kind of Christmas story would you like tonight, darling?."**

**"Hmmm, I don't know. How about a brand new exciting one?. A _true_ story?."**

**I thought for a moment… Finally I nodded in agreement.**

**"Alright then, I'll tell you a story about a little girl I used to know, a long, long time ago. She was just about your size, just about your age, when this happened."**

**"Really?." My daughters' light blue eyes went wide and bright with interest.**

**"Really," I answered. "Only she had a very sad life. Her mother died when she was only two years old and her father died on Christmas Eve, this very night, without even knowing about her birth."**

**"Oh my!. That's so sad!."**

**"Yes," I sighed. "The little girls grandfather took her in, but he didn't really love her."**

**"But how could he not love his own granddaughter, Mommy," Lacus protested innocently.**

**I had to shake my head… At her age, and with the happy childhood my husband and I had provided for her here, it must have seemed incomprehensible for a child to be unloved by their family…**

**"I don't know, sweetheart," I answered truthfully. "All I know is that the little girls father had been a man of power and influence, so her grandfather wanted to use her to further _his own_ power and influence. She was nothing more then a tool to him, a puppet. Do you understand, Lacus?."**

**She nodded, blinking.**

**"I think so, but that was so mean of the girls grandpa, Mommy!."**

**"Yes, it was," I had to agree. "He corrupted and manipulated her during the most tender years of her young life, so he could invade and gain full control of Earth. Their armies invaded Earth on Christmas Eve, the very date of the girls fathers death, but when the puppet finally tried to cut her strings she was shot."**

**"Oh no," Lacus gasped, putting her hand to her cheek again. "That poor little girl!. Did she die?."**

**I smiled reassuringly at her.**

**"No, don't worry about that, darling. She lived, and the story has a happier ending. She was taken in by a rather eccentric, but kind and loving, foster mother who taught her who her father really was, and what he would have really wanted for her."**

**At this, my daughters' face grew more hopeful.**

**"What did the little girls daddy really want for her, Mommy," she asked.**

**I lovingly brushed her long rose bangs away from her eyes.**

**"The same things your daddy and I want for you, Lacus, dear; to be as happy as you can be, and to leave the world, somehow, better then you found it."**

**"But how can I do that, Mommy?."**

**"That's something you're going to have to figure out for yourself as you grow up, sweetheart," I answered, giving her a kiss on the forehead. "The World is yours and you belong to the world. But please don't be like that little girl in the story who was manipulated into believing that absolute power and world domination was the right path."**

**At this, Lacus nodded steadily. "I don't ever want to be powerful or rule the world or anything," she stated decisively, "Not if it makes me as mean as that poor little girls grandpa."**

**I stroked her hair again. I prayed she would not turn out that way either, or that she would not have to learn her lessons the hard way, at a painful price, as I had.**

**"And I don't understand why everyone says Naturals and Coordinators are so different," she continued. "Daddy says we aren't a separate species, and Reverend Malchio says God loves all of us, no matter what we are."**

**"Well, they're right," I agreed. Malchio, Lacus's Sunday School teacher, had been a good friend to us even before my husband and I had moved to the PLANTS. He ran his own church on the Marshal Islands and had founded one of the local orphanages. "Your daddy and Reverend Malchio are very wise."**

**"Do you know what I want to be, Mommy," she asked me eagerly.**

**"No, my angel. What do you want to be?."**

**She beamed, and her happiness and enthusiasm seemed to make her glow, even at nighttime.**

**"I want to be a singer someday," she announced. "I love to sing! And my tutors all say I'm very good at it!."**

**"Yes, you are," I agreed. Several of Lacus's tutors had mentioned to my husband and I that she did indeed have a lovely voice. "And you memorize songs after hearing them just once. That's quite a talent!."**

**At this, she took my hand.**

**"I have something special to show you, Mommy," she exclaimed. "An early Christmas present!."**

**"Really?."**

**"Yes," she nodded proudly. "You know that special lullaby you always sing to me at bedtime?. I've practiced singing and playing it on the piano, just for you for Christmas!."**

**Thrilled and excited, I wheeled myself eagerly over to the piano.**

**"That's wonderful!. Will you play it for me then, love?."**

**"Sure, Mommy," she cried, crawling up in my lap again. "And lets play this as a duet and sing it together, okay?."**

**"Okay," I agreed.**

**Then we each placed our fingers on the piano keys and began to play… Of course, I let Lacus take the lead… Her young voice was sweet and clear, as melodious as any professional divas I ever heard…**

_**Beneath the veil of starry sky  
As cold as winters darkest night  
It's there you'll sleep, silent in me  
You're all alone**_

_**A single prayers soft melody  
Has crossed the lonely silent fields  
A little light begins to shine, it shines on and on**_

_**I watched you as you so peacefully dreamed  
You laughed like a child, happy and care free  
It's so familiar and yet so far, that the future is promised  
For you and me**_

_**One day on a green and shining morn  
One day we will finally make through  
'Cause in this sky, so dark with winter  
We still have to believe that it's true  
Fields of hope**_

**I clapped my hands in delight, then hugged her tightly.**

**"Bravo," I praised her. "Bravo!. You are quite the little nightingale!."**

**Even at such a young age, her singing skills were already apparent. She could remember almost every song I sang to her since she was a baby, and now she was even learning to make up her own songs!.**

**"Thank you, Mommy," she laughed as she hugged me back tightly.**

**"You're very welcome. I think we may have a future song star in the family," I laughed back and kissed her cheek.**

**Then, with a mysterious smile, I reached for something in my pocket…**

**"How would you like one of your Christmas presents early too, Lacus?."**

**"Oh my!. Really?."**

**"Really," I answered as I drew out the package… It was small, and it was wrapped in shiny red paper with an equally shiny green ribbon and bow around it…**

**I gave her the present, and she untied the ribbon and opened the package with a childs eagerness and excitement…**

**"Oh my," she exclaimed happily once she saw the shiny gold hair pin and the little silver ring. "They're so beautiful!."**

**"I'm glad you like it, honey," I replied, pleased. "Here, let me help you put the pin on."**

**I took the pin and gently fastened it in Lacus's hair while she slipped the ring on her finger.**

**My daughter raised her hand to her hair and gingerly touched the pin.**

**"Thanks, Mommy," she beamed. "I love it so much!." Then she gave me another hug and a kiss on my cheek. "Merry Christmas!."**

**I hugged her back tightly and kissed her own cheek.**

**"Your welcome, darling, and Merry Christmas. Now, my darling, I believe it's _way_ past your bedtime."**

**Lacus gave me that adorable, wide-eyed little pout of hers.**

"**Aww, do I _have_ to?." **

**I wagged a finger at her playfully.**

"**Young lady, please don't make me repeat myself."**

**"Oooh, all right, Mommy," she finally agreed, hopping off my lap. "But will Daddy be home soon?."**

**"Yes," I assured her. "He should be back in less then half an hour. Go ask Alice to help you wash and get ready for bed, then when Daddy comes home we'll both come upstairs and say goodnight and Merry Christmas to you. Maybe there'll be some more tea and cookies too," I added with a wink.**

**A bright smile lit up her young face. Being a chairman of the ZAFT council, her father was often kept very busy, so little Lacus didn't get to spend as much time with him as she would have liked. She cherished the time she had with the two of us when Siegel could be here at home, especially at Christmas, and so did I.**

**"Alright then," she chirped, clapping her hands. Then she gave me another hug and a kiss, which I wholeheartedly returned, and trotted happily out of the living room.**

**I watched her disappear out of the living room and upstairs to her own room… Then I turned my wheelchair back to the window and watched as the snow continued to fall…**

**I supposed that in a world that was always changing, the snow was one of the few things that remained the most constant…**

**"History is much like an endless waltz. The three beats of war, peace, and revolution continue on forever…" **

**The words I had spoken so long ago played themselves over and over again in my memory… I, in my childhood naivete and arrogance, had failed to end that waltz on the beat of peace, but perhaps Lacus and her generation would have a chance someday… **

**I was then brought out of my thoughts by a spring of mistletoe dangling over my head, and familiar, strong, warm arms around me… **

**"Merry Christmas, darling," my husband, Siegel, murmured, kissing my neck. "The house looks almost as lovely as you." Then he put down the mistletoe and handed me a bouquet of beautiful red roses. **

**I smiled happily as I inhaled the dozen roses. I remember, my foster mother used to tell me how much my father, the father who never knew about me and whom I had never met, loved roses of all sorts of different colors. I liked to think I had inherited that love of roses from him, and that Lacus had inherited it from me. **

**"Merry Christmas, my love," I greeted Siegel, turning my head to meet his lips in a soft kiss. "You're home earlier then expected." **

**We embraced lovingly, then, after placing the roses in an elegant vase full of water for me, he went to seat himself on the soft velvet lounge chair near my wheelchair. **

**"It could never be early enough," he replied with a tired smile. **

**"Hard time at the council," I asked sympathetically. **

**"Yes," he nodded with a groan. "I swear, I care for Patrick Zala like my own brother, but he's becoming so difficult. He keeps insisting that Naturals are a threat, that we get to them before they get to us." **

**I sighed… I knew Siegel and Patrick had been friends since before our families relocated to the PLANTS, but for some reason I had never felt completely at ease with him… Maybe it was because he reminded me to much of my grandfather… **

**"He's become quite the extremist lately," I commented. **

**Siegel ruefully ran a hand through his blond hair. **

**"Yes, he has. Fortunately, the council isn't as extreme as he is. Not all of them anyway." **

**He was right about that. Patrick Zala had never approved of our marriage, claiming I was part of an inferior, dying race and had no business with a Coordinator, even though science had already indicated that birth rates among third generation Coordinators were already declining. **

**Not that the response from my own people was any different. In fact, only my foster mother gave Siegel and I any approval or support. Others had protested our relationship and our wedding, claiming it to be a threat to the preservation of their so-called "blue and pure world". **

**Then, determined not to let his problems at work spoil our Christmas together, Siegel cheerfully changed the subject. **

**"So, how was little Lacus today?." **

**"As good as gold and better," I answered. "You should hear her sing, Siegel." **

**He nodded, his smile brightening at the mention of our daughter. Even though he wasn't often able to spend as much time with Lacus as he would have liked, the two of them had always loved eachother and been as close as any father and daughter could be when they were together. Like him, Lacus was also a Coordinator, so that was another common bond they shared. **

**"I know, she's incredible for her age. Perhaps we should look at professional singing lessons for her in the near future?." **

**"In time, that may be a good idea," I agreed. "But I really don't want to rush her now, Siegel dear." **

**He gave me a knowing look… **

**"You mean like the way you were rushed?…" **

**I closed my eyes for a moment… My beloved Siegel was the only one to whom I had confided the truth about my past. The whole truth. It seemed an amazing thing that even though he knew who I had once been, and what I had almost done, he still loved me… **

**"I can assure you, it wouldn't be like that, darling." He took my hand and squeezed it gently. **

**I smiled and squeezed his hand back. **

**"I know," I replied. "I know." **

**Had it really been all those years ago when my foster mother had entered me in a well-run private school on Earth and I had met Siegel?. Sometimes it seemed like just the other day. **

**We had both been eight or so years old at the time. I had been sullen and angry at first. Not only did I have no parents to speak of, but I had just lost my grandfather in that horrible incident that had broken the essential areas of my spine and confined me to a wheelchair, never to walk again. The other children had avoided me because of my withdrawn nature, but Siegel had done his best to befriend me in spite of that, even though he was a Coordinator and I was not. **

**I would never forget the time I first realized I loved him… **

**It was the first Christmas I had spent with my foster mother, and I still hadn't adjusted to all the changes taking place in my life… From a would-be ruler of Earth with the power of several armies at her disposal, to a crippled orphan with no real blood relatives left, taken in out of pity, and because her foster mother had loved her late father… **

**I had managed to sneak out of the house, even in my wheelchair... Somehow, even on that dark, snowy Christmas Eve, I was able to find the cemetery where my fathers' memorial stone was placed… I remember, I had stopped my wheelchair a few feet from the grave, then I made every effort to get out of my wheelchair and walk up to grave by myself to pay my respects… **

**Once my foster mother told me a story about how my father had stopped a mother from picking up her child so that child would learn to get up on their own… I thought surely if a small toddler could get up again, then _I_ could too… **

**I was wrong… **

**I fell from my wheelchair to the cold hard ground. I tried and tried to get to my knees, to raise myself to my feet again, but it was of no use… All I could do was crawl to my fathers' grave, forcing back tears and clenching my fists in anger and humiliation… **

**I cursed myself for becoming such a cripple. I cursed everyone, my dead parents and grandfather, blaming them all for making me this way and for leaving me... **

**It was then that Siegel had come. He had been on his way to give me my Christmas present and had seen me leave my house and head for the cemetery. Worried, he had decided to follow me… And the next thing I knew he was by my side, hugging and comforting me, helping me back into my wheelchair and assuring me that everything would be alright… **

**It was while Siegel pushed my wheelchair back home that night that I had confided in him my secret, and the whole truth about who I was, against my foster mothers wishes that I never tell anybody… To this day I don't regret the first and only time I ever really disobeyed her, even though she gave me a good scolding… **

**The brush of my husbands' mustache against my cheek as he kissed me brought me out of my thoughts and memories… **

**"Well, my darling, shall we go upstairs and say goodnight and Merry Christmas to our Lacus?." **

**Even after all these years together, he still knew how to make me smile!. **

**"Yes," I answered happily as I placed my arms around his neck. "She and I have been looking forward to seeing you all day." **

**Laughing warmly, he lifted me gently from my wheelchair and into his arms. **

**"The same goes for me. I can't believe I finally managed to get Christmas day off to be with you two." **

**Content, I rested my head against his shoulder. **

**"Merry Christmas," I murmured. "I love you, Siegel Clyne." **

**He kissed the top of my head. **

**"Merry Christmas, and I love you too, Mariemaia Kushrenada," Siegel replied as he carried me up the stairs. **

**"No," I smiled, bringing my hand to his face and touching his cheek lovingly. "Mariemaia Kushrenada died years ago. Now there's only Marie Clyne." **

**In response, my husband leaned his head down and our lips met again… **

**"And that's always been just fine with me," he answered. **

**The End **

**E Mail me at karenjadeshaw.ca**

**_"Gundam Wing; Endless Waltz"_ and "_Gundam Seed; Destiny"_ are a copyright of the people and companies associated with the anime and manga. **


End file.
